I awake-again-before seven. The muscles in my back and neck tight-heading for a spasm. I stumble out of bed, maybe Aleive & a hot shower will head this off. My sweet husband pulls me into his arms, gently holding me. How does he know this gentleness, this love, is what I need to kill the cry of “why, is this happening to me?”
I head back to bed and shortly realize that lying down is NOT going to be a good idea. I head for the shower only to find two ant bait’s covered and more on the march. A wail escapes my lips,-“I can’t even take a shower”- I cringe-doesn’t this sound like Israel whining and grumbling ‘you brought us out here to die, there is no water to drink’. Oh, please Lord, I don’t want to go down that path-ingratitude….
Bob comes in, asses the situation and agrees-better to leave the ants alone. He begins gathering what I need, takes me by the hand and leads me to the other bathroom. His gentleness and care move me to tears as with a soft kiss he leaves for work.
I stare at the thick dense fog and struggle with giving thanks:
1.Thank you for giving me a kind, loving husband, whose #1 way of showing love is service. His gentle, loving hands- leading, caring, & holding me are a picture of Your love-even when I don’t deserve it.
2. Thank you for the fog-it keeps the morning cool enuf to take a long hot shower which I need to loosen tight muscles.
3. Thank you the beauty of watching the thick fog burn off and the sun come shining thru.
And that’s when “I see it” this lesson You wanted me to learn-again. Tho the fog was dense, hiding everything-there was never any doubt that the sun was rising. I couldn’t see the sun, but I could see the sky lightening-I NEVER for a moment doubted that the sun would rise. Just because I don’t ‘see’ You-does NOT mean You are not there-in the hard stuff. Perspective-there it is again- a way of seeing You in the fog…And when I can learn to ‘see You’ in the fog, it is ever more sweet, more clear, more precious….
By: Kathy Lute