She lays her head on my shoulder and sobs…..crocodile tears smear her stage makeup down her face and all over the sleeve of my favorite coat. I may never get the mascara out but right now it matters not. This young woman is broken. Her soul is rent in two. Her faith challenged. Her desire to live fragile. She trusts no one. Anger has planted a seed of bitterness that has taken root and has become a choking vine, squeezing the joy out and leaving in its grip a shadow of the person she is.
I am not surprised by this. I have been anticipating it for a very long time. Mother addicted to prescription drugs and has mental illness. Father absent and disconnected. Grandmother #1 controlling. Grandfather #1 passive. Grandfather #2 gone to be with Jesus. Grandmother #2 writing this with knees bloody from unceasing prayer and quilty of trying to makeup for the faults of others and cover the sins of the father. Half brother broken too and attempting to end it all.
There have been 1000 gifts given surrounding this beautiful life. I thank God every day for the choice her parents made to not end her life and yet she has suffered greatly. Even now, insomnia, anxiety, fear, fatigue, loss of interest in school, loss of passion, becoming reclusive and expressionless plaque this normally energetic, vivacious, and outgoing soul. She is unable to voice a prayer to heaven……..”does God hear?” she asks.
Now, we seek medical care and counseling and pray for healing of the wounds inflicted by others and left untended for far too long. Hurts buried, relationships robbed, and joy stolen. I am thankful for this eruption of this festering wound. Now the Lord can perform the extraction of the core. Yes, it will leave a deep scar and it will be an incredibly painful process. The scar, a tender place that will relate to others in a similar circumstance. I thank God for the healing of relationships that will come though it may be yet a long time.
This precious young lady, is NOT alone! Millions just like her are suffering because of the selfishness, and choices of others without caring or counting the consequences to others and themselves. The family is broken and it leaves lives broken and battered. For all these I now intercede. Lord, I thank you that Jesus died to set these captives free. They are slaves to emotional baggage. Baggage so heavy that it paralizes and petrifies a life. This is my hard eucharisteo. To thank God for this brokeness is HARD! To thank Him for the gigantic tears, the sobs, the anger, the verbal hostility is an act of will for it does not come naturally but I am determined to see the miracle in her life! Praise precedes the miracle. Thanking God for allowing the problem that will bring about His molding her into the image of Christ because I have seen His sweet spirit in her before.
The Word says where two or three agree on earth touching ANYTHING it is done by the Father in Heaven. Would you join me in thanking Him for this miracle of grace early in her life so that her journey will not get sidetracked. I pray over your posts, feel your heart hurts. I ask that you hold up this feeble Granny’s hands as I stand beside this child holding her hope until she can hold it on her own again. I thank the Lord for this army of thanksgiving, thanksliving, holy experiencing souls.