Some days, Lord, I struggle between what is my part and what is Yours in my life – ok, most days these past number of months.
I know that you work all things together for the good of those that love You. I know that “a wounded spirit who can bear?” I know that you are my Deliverer, my Redeemer, my Fortress, my Strong Tower, my Shepherd when I stray (is it just me, or have you had to do a lot of finding of this sheep in the past 42 years?) I am sorrowful because I sense I have sinned, but I don’t always see the sin from the weakness. No where do You give me permission to be lazy; no where do You encourage me to shirk from – is it just dishes (again)? Surely such things should not be hindrances to me… I get so frustrated because again, I sleep and sleep for 12 hours or more a day and yes, there is so much pain some days in my body and such a worry and fear trying to grip my soul, but God, You know, and I know You know, it’s just temporary. Temporal. You are eternal. God, would you please forgive me? Please forgive me when I am lazy – and would you please help me to not be afraid – afraid of dishes, so very many dishes that seem to take up so much time. Lord, when David said, “CREATE in me….” he used the same word used when Moses wrote God CREATED (out of nothing; out of void) the heavens and the earth….” God, today, would you please CREATE perhaps forgive me but again a bit CREATE in me a clean heart oh God, one that is content with all You have given me; surely I have a delightful inheritance, because You have promised to NEVER leave me or forsake me. I am so rich today; Lord today I just want to thank you for my weaknesses because they remind me that Your love for me is so amazing, so gracious, so full of mercy, incomparable – You love me for being me – not for all I strive to do for You. You love me – in spite of all my dirty dishes; please help me to overcome my desire for perfectionism and replace those dark areas with contentment and desire for only You. I love You. I am really glad You found me – again. I love You. Hugs and kisses – me.
By: Christa Mason