Today is the 5th birthday. I call it a birthday because he woke up in the arms of his Savior. Traveled the birth canal of death and broke through to new life, ETERNAL life! MY Grief is a journey. It is one we seldom walk through but are carried through by unseen arms. This is not my first trip through the valley of the shadow of death, I doubt that it will be my last though I would like for it to be. I am ready to go HOME. That is the wail of this aching heart. Like a child homesick, I wail, praying someone will hear my plea and call my Abba Father to come get me. I don’t like this place where He left me alone and I am trying to trust Him because He promised He would come back but I cannot see Him!
Today, my gifts were precious and I want to share them.
*heard “Days of Elijah” on radio…….his homegoing song
*oldest granddaughter crawled up in the bed with me and slept peacefully beside me
*sweet friend texted that she remembered this day and encouraged me to press on
*precious friend sent email filled with hugs for today knowing that I miss the touch of another human being
*singing with women “who are woven together as a tapestry held together by a common thread”
*supper with daughter and granddaughter dear
*phone call from faithful son “just checking on you Mom.”
*listened to a young woman whose life is shattered sing Blessings and tears filled my eyes
*was reminded by pastor again that when we focus on another, God pours out His blessings on us and that He hates self centered, prideful, and ungrateful children.
So, now it is time to move forward, accept the call. Continue the work of grief by pouring into the lives of others. If you are hurting, know I am praying for you. I don’t know your names but I have felt your pain. I get that it keeps on hurting long after everyone has forgotten that you still have a hole in your heart. Jesus wept for Lazarus, He knew that even though he was about to be raised from the dead, he would die yet again and the hearts he loved would again know the sting of death. So, if Jesus wept, it is acceptable and proper that you too grieve. I will cry with you. We were not hard wired for this! God never wanted or meant for us to endure this. He hurts every time we do because it was not necessary. But because we chose the hard road, He sent Jesus to be our guide. Hold His hand, trust His heart, keep moving. All really is GRACE!