A Thankful Heart

Each day is like whitewater, ever churnings of a river. We all journey through the scary whitewater. What we do while in the white water makes the difference between life and death. We strive forward presenting feet first to only find ourselves pulled under churning whitewater by sharp jagged rocks, where only a toe hold can bring death. Or maybe we find our Rock and cling to the Rock, never wanting to venture further than the edge of what is known, firm beneath us. Be grow comfortable just being on our Rock never willing to know more than Salvation. Maybe we live in fear because whitewater churns in from every side and we feel like we are alone. To venture beyond the Rock, to experience a journey with the Savior who holds out His hand is to take His hand, enter the raft, paddle together working through the whitewater. Knowing that when small waterfalls happen and you find yourself at the bottom of churning whitewater- pressing in from all sides- you are given a choice. Refuse all that is pressing in and fall deeper into the whitewater being beaten and worn before coming to the eddy. Or lean into the whitewater and paddle, knowing that it has all been designed and allowed through His hand. Leaning into Him and paddling with Him moving through and remaining above the churning whitewater is to ride high through the churning whitewater and resting into Him. Resting, melting leaning into Him propels me through trying times that are above my control. Some would call this a crutch but I know it as being a lavishing love- breathe on back of neck- an intimacy that cools fears, enables one to move beyond fears of “what ifs” or “if only” to “Yes Lord, thank you.” When you find yourself looking around and see everyone much older, heavier and you wonder why am I in cardiac rehab. I quit smoking years ago. I eat healthy, I exercise. There was the temptation of forgetting the rehab program and heart healthy advice- a toehold hidden within the sharp edged rocks. Genetics can’t be ignored- whitewater never stops, it’s always churning, pressing in upon everyone. So as I was headed into surgery with the hope of it only being a stent – I leaned in to Jesus who is forever present, never forsaking me … claiming verses and songs of praise and worship while I watched the doctors do their work… I paddled and leaned into Him. A small eddy of thanksgiving was to be my blessing. Then in rehab ingratitude, anger and resentment took root…. I could only journal and lay it out before Him admitting my low point and receiving this also as a gift…. my moment, a fragment to be used for His Light to shine through… my hand opens, I feel breathe on back of neck and I ask Lord please just allow me to see the good you have for me through this. I humble myself and receive it all, leaving tears behind, leaning ever more into Him. I go back to rehab and there I am blessed the next day. The one person who appears to be young like me and female ask me for my story of my “event”. I shared with her my journey, my churning whitewater, and how I melted into Him, Jesus and was calmed as I watched the doctors do their work. Leaning into Him brings peace and his presence beings me peace even when it is hard. I was blessed because I was allowed to share with her more than a Rock, or a trinket, Jesus allowed me to share what a relationship with Him provides. My prayer today is that she will open more than her mind to who God is and receive a personal relationship with Jesus who blesses people through the hard places of our moments so that we can come to know these moments as blessings. This is my thankful heart blessing that I am most thankful today.

By: Cindy V

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